For the longest time I had a hard time with forgiveness. My heart was filled with so much bitterness toward my ex husband and his girlfriend. But the sooner I learned, there was nothing I could do about the situation. I knew I wasn’t going to have either of hem ask for forgiveness, because they didn’t think they did anything wrong.
Instead, last summer, I asked God to take it. I forgave my ex-husband. I forgave him for all the emotional abuse, verbal abuse, the hateful words, emails everything. I forgave him for all the hurt he put me through. I don’t want to say as soon as I did, I felt revealed, because after you ask for forgiveness, it takes awhile for your feelings to catch up. I pray for him often, I pray for them both.
I promise you this though, it’s been almost a year since I moved to North Carolina and almost a year since my life went totally upside down, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders since then. I’ve learned something, I can only control myself, I can’t control him and his choices. I’m no longer a prisoner to bitterness and it’s the greatest feeling in the world. When you learn to forgive, you set a prisoner free, only to find out that you were the prisoner.
The One Thing You Must Let Go – Forgiveness
You can’t live your life, without getting offended. We get offended, it’s out of our control. When we take offense to what someone said/did, it’s something we can control.
We start plotting and planning resentment toward someone, and the bitterness seed will take over your heart. It will not effect that one person, but everyone you interact with.
3. Broken Relationships.
There’s people who offended/hurt you and don’t even know it. Then there are people who know they offended/hurt you and don’t care. You wake up every day thinking about it, worrying about it, without forgiveness. You are building your own prison and you’re the prisoner.
How do you get the chains to fall off to bring you to a new level of freedom and forgiveness:
1) Make the Choice.
Matthew 10:8 Ephesians 4:32
Freely I received, freely I should give. Forgive each other, as God forgave us. Only you can control you. You can’t control if the other person ask forgiveness, but you can give it. Are you willing to take the chance to be a prisoner on the chance of them asking for you to forgive them.
2) Pray for the Offender.
Luke 6:27-28 Romans 12:14 Matthew 4:44
Prayer gets your heart in the right place, before I have a conversation with the person. It’s impossible to stay angry at someone, if you’re praying for them. Prayer for the offender will get rid of the bitterness in your heart. Do good to those who hate you.
3) Address the Problem
Go to them and tell them their fault, just between you and them, no one else. Some of us, don’t adult to well. We create gaps of what we say we’re going to do and what we actually do.
Basic Rules of Conflict Management:
1) Describe the situation.
2) Describe how it made you feel.
3) “Did you mean it to happen that way?”
Then you talk about it and have a revolution.
4) Restore the relationship
If it’s possible, as far as it is with you, live at peace with everyone. Restoring the relationship doesn’t mean you’re going to be BFF. You cant be at peace with everyone, if bitterness is in your heart. You have to make the choice to forgive. You can walk away at peace, you’re not longer captive to un-forgiveness. You will be set free. Don’t live life a prisoner to someone’s else’s actions.
Here’s the video all these notes cam from. They were so spot on, I had to jolt down some notes and share them. I hope this post/video helped someone. Forgiveness is more powerful than we think it is.
This post reminded me of this music video by Matthew West – Forgiveness