Forgiveness is Freedom

For the longest time I had a hard time with forgiveness. My heart was filled with so much bitterness toward my ex husband and his girlfriend. But the sooner I learned, there was nothing I could do about the situation. I knew I wasn’t going to have either of hem ask for forgiveness, because they didn’t think they did anything wrong.


Instead, last summer, I asked God to take it. I forgave my ex-husband. I forgave him for all the emotional abuse, verbal abuse, the hateful words, emails everything. I forgave him for all the hurt he put me through. I don’t want to say as soon as I did, I felt revealed, because after you ask for forgiveness, it takes awhile for your feelings to catch up. I pray for him often, I pray for them both.

I promise you this though, it’s been almost a year since I moved to North Carolina and almost a year since my life went totally upside down, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders since then. I’ve learned something, I can only control myself, I can’t control him and his choices. I’m no longer a prisoner to bitterness and it’s the greatest feeling in the world. When you learn to forgive, you set a prisoner free, only to find out that you were the prisoner.

The One Thing You Must Let Go – Forgiveness

1. Offended.
You can’t live your life, without getting offended. We get offended, it’s out of our control. When we take offense to what someone said/did, it’s something we can control.
2. Resentment.
We start plotting and planning resentment toward someone, and the bitterness seed will take over your heart. It will not effect that one person, but everyone you interact with.
3. Broken Relationships.
There’s people who offended/hurt you and don’t even know it. Then there are people who know they offended/hurt you and don’t care. You wake up every day thinking about it, worrying about it, without forgiveness. You are building your own prison and you’re the prisoner.

How do you get the chains to fall off to bring you to a new level of freedom and forgiveness:

1) Make the Choice.
Matthew 10:8 Ephesians 4:32
Freely I received, freely I should give. Forgive each other, as God forgave us. Only you can control you. You can’t control if the other person ask forgiveness, but you can give it. Are you willing to take the chance to be a prisoner on the chance of them asking for you to forgive them.

2) Pray for the Offender.
Luke 6:27-28 Romans 12:14 Matthew 4:44
Prayer gets your heart in the right place, before I have a conversation with the person. It’s impossible to stay angry at someone, if you’re praying for them. Prayer for the offender will get rid of the bitterness in your heart. Do good to those who hate you.

3) Address the Problem
Matthew 18:15
Go to them and tell them their fault, just between you and them, no one else. Some of us, don’t adult to well. We create gaps of what we say we’re going to do and what we actually do.

Basic Rules of Conflict Management:
1) Describe the situation.
2) Describe how it made you feel.
3) “Did you mean it to happen that way?”
Then you talk about it and have a revolution.

4) Restore the relationship
Romans 12:18
If it’s possible, as far as it is with you, live at peace with everyone. Restoring the relationship doesn’t mean you’re going to be BFF. You cant be at peace with everyone, if bitterness is in your heart. You have to make the choice to forgive. You can walk away at peace, you’re not longer captive to un-forgiveness. You will be set free. Don’t live life a prisoner to someone’s else’s actions.

[Tweet “If it’s possible, as far as it is with you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18”]

Here’s the video all these notes cam from. They were so spot on, I had to jolt down some notes and share them. I hope this post/video helped someone. Forgiveness is more powerful than we think it is.

This post reminded me of this music video by Matthew West – Forgiveness

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26 thoughts on “Forgiveness is Freedom

  1. This is a very good blog post on how to forgive others and bring healing in a relationship. I know if I do not have forgiveness for others than I will become filled with bitterness and the relationship will become broken. I make sure to bring healing to a relationship by doing what God wants me to do! Thanks for the reminder!

  2. Such a beautiful post! God has forgiven us for our sins, therefore enabling us to forgive others. Love the scriptures your shared 🙂


  3. Beautiful! Forgiveness really is key to accepting God’s grace into your life. Don’t let bitterness hold you down. Sometimes for me, forgiveness is not only towards others, but of self. Thank you for sharing with us.

  4. Years ago I forgave my ex-husband and other people who had hurt me. The Lord pointed me to where Paul and Silas were in prison and the doors were opened and no one left. I was told…walk out of the prison in your own mind. I so agree with you. We are one’s imprisoned when we do not forgive.

  5. This is a great blog post on forgiveness. I have been through some not so happy situations in my life and I can’t seem to let go of the resentment I feel towards the people who caused these unhappiness. But I’m trying to move on and be mature about it. Thank you for sharing this blog post.

  6. I needed this today. Forgiveness is really important. I read a lot of self-help books and it’s very stressed-we have to forgive for growth.

  7. I am struggling with an issue of forgiveness….I know what is written here is the way, with God to get my heart back to where it is supposed to be. Very wise.

  8. I agree that Forgiveness is important. However, there are some things that can happen to you – where to forgive atrocities that have happened to you at the hands of another that effect your whole life – sometimes the forgiveness is sometimes insurmountable. All of your tips are excellent and are good to use in every day life. I just wanted to point out that there are some things that are just unforgivable.

  9. This is a great post. I think it’s important to forgive to free yourself from the pain. There are a few people I need to learn how to forgive.

  10. What a lovely post. I have always struggled with forgiveness. Not that I harbour Ill feelings towards others but I internalize the way that acts make feel. I feel fat and ugly because of being bullied and the past relationships. I feel unworthy because I’m gay and my family has turned their backs on me. I am constantly praying over this and doing a lot of self talk.

  11. Forgiveness is so freeing to the person in bitterness, resentment, etc. Only the Lord Jesus can empower you by His Spirit to forgive, but we must make a choice to allow Him to empower us to release people from ill will, etc. He won’t force you after all.

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