My Life Currently | #LateNightThoughts

I would like to think, I have my life together right now. But that would be a lie, not only to myself but those around me. I like to pretend I have everything together, but that’s also a lie. Life is just happening around me and I am stuck. Not sure exactly what I’m stuck at or doing, but I am not moving forward nor moving backwards. I am just at a standstill watching life past me by. These are the thoughts I have in the wee hours, so what better to make these #LateNightThoughts.

LateNightThoughts 1

As you can see, I’ve had 3 blog changes lately. I was fine at then went to, to make life easy, I put the design blog & actual blog together into one. That weekend, BlueHost just stop working, they wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, I knew I wasn’t alone because other people on Twitter had a problem and they wouldn’t admit there was an actual server problem. So I gave up and set up this domain on GoDaddy. Little did I know it would be a royal pain to move the post & images. Like they don’t want to. Which is really a pain in the buns when it comes to my 633 blog posts. (Yea, I got a lot of posts over the last 3 years). So while I am trying to get this back together.

I am still looking for jobs, they just suck around here. I’ve applied at every place I can, I’ve even applied at all the local fast food places, still nothing. What am I suppose to do? I really wanted my life together by now. I wanted a job, a home, a car and have everything together when I get the kids in June. Here I sit at 6 am, because my body clock is totally NOT my friend right now and I am typing this blog post. After spending most of the night fixing pictures in the blog posts and setting up the shop again.

I wish my online graphic and web graphic shop would just pick up, then I don’t have to relay on a job outside the home. I can work at the house and do what I love to do. I wish the companies around here that have to do with graphic design didn’t require degrees. As I stand here at this standstill, at this season that God put before me, I am not sure what I am suppose to gain from this. But I put my faith in him, that all of this will work out in the end.

I’ve been up since midnight and it’s now 6:22 am – I’ve had this migraine for 5 days now. Today is Thursday, I am suppose to get my kids for Spring Break on the 2nd of April until the 10th. I haven’t had them since a 4 day in January. I miss them so much. I can’t begin to tell you the heartache and pain I feel from being away from my kids for this long. I can’t believe it’s almost been a year. All this pain is almost over, all this heartache and pain will be over soon. I will be able to look back on this one day. I am stronger than I was then, I will be strong when this is all over.

I can’t wait to start over my life with my kids, I can’t wait to do all the things I always overlooked, the things I always put off. They’re my #1 and I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned with them. I can’t wait to teach them about God’s love and his forgiveness for his children. More crafts and fun times, more road trips and love. Until then, I live for these few days I get with them on these breaks. I live for the cuddles and the story time before bed. I love them more than they will ever know.

Now as I sit here wiping away my tears, I should really go to bed as I got a lot to do today.

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  • Kimberly Bradley

    Natalie, your post resonated with me… sometimes its so hard to see what God is doing, especially when it seems as if He’s not doing anything at all. But I hope you find this quote encouraging: “When God is silent, He is not still. When He is quiet, He has not quit.” Stay strong! When you’re in the midst of a storm, there is only one way to go from there…. out of it. I went through a very hard storm in my life a few years ago. Maybe it will encourage you….

  • Terra Heck

    I’ve said a prayer for you that God brings you comfort and strength through all this. He’ll see you through it.
    I had GoDaddy a couple years ago for my blog. HATED it and will never go back.

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